there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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