Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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