Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
