The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
We have started to decorate penises.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Randomize
