i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
