I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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