Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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