this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
