I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
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