goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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