I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU