You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.