i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
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He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
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There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day