I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
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Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
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It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning