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watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
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