love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
