So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
