So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
