I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
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