Will you blow on my dice?
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
