im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Randomize
