do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
