Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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