Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
so much tequila, so little girl.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
