I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
He felt like a one man threesome
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
