Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
