the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
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