how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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