Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
