I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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