I just made out with a guy for $7.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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