In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
