my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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