I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
He uses pillows to masturbate.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.