Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
