no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
