I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
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