either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
