i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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