I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
