You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
