Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
