what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Randomize
