school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
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Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
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Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
This is my gift to your gina
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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