Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I haven't been this sober since birth.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize