Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
