when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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