Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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