covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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