i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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