I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
