WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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