i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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