blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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