now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
