I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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