Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize