Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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