I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
