I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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