Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
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